This weekend I am throwing an engagement party for a very close friend and her fiancé. The party is going to have a “family past & present” theme. This has encouraged me to explore the deeply personal and yet expansive feeling of family. A family “tree” doesn’t truly describe our emotional family, just the ties we have through genetics, birth certificates, and marriage licenses.
I like the image of a family ”orchard” instead. In my mind’s eye there is an orchard and anyone I wish to include can have a tree. My friend and her fiancé have a beautiful tree whose branches stretch out to touch the other trees. Our son and oldest daughter have begun their own trees, starting their own families. We look forward one day to branches on each of their trees containing grandchildren. One day those grandchildren will have their own trees… my orchard will eventually be very large.
In my mind’s eye, my personal tree contains my husband, our youngest daughter and myself. Eventually my daughter will start her own tree. Various friends and blood relations who are family of my heart have trees scattered throughout the virtual orchard. Through it all, the trees grow straight and tall, branching out to touch each other and remain a part of the whole.
It sounds like a very utopian view of family, I know. So sue me. It is my mind, not yours. Create your own view of family. I just hope it is expansive enough to include the people who are family in your heart, not solely through your genes.
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